I honestly can’t do this anymore.
I wish I could tell you how much I really missed you. I miss holding your hand so much. X
You told me I could speak to you whenever I needed to but you only give me the shortest answers. I’m sorry if I’ve upset you. I had a bad panic attack and mum wasn’t answering so I called and I’m sorry about that. You didn’t reply so I hope I didn’t make you too angry or annoyed. Reply if you can please. I wish I didn’t call in the first place. I’ll speak to you on Sunday hopefully x
I’m having so many side effects from these tablets and I’m so scared. I’m really scared and I just want to talk to you about it.
I’m so sorry for everything I’ve done. I’ll never be able to express the amount of hate I feel for myself for doing what I have to the person I care most about.
I’ll never forgive myself.
I’ll get better.
I don’t know if you still look at this.
I hope you’ll still post something every few days.
I missed you more than usual today. x
What you’re doing just makes me feel physically ill.
I can’t stop worrying about it, or thinking about it. I’ve read possibly every single article on the internet about it and even though I trust you, it really fucking worries me that you’re putting yourself in this kind of jeopardy. If something ever did happen, i’d never ever forgive myself.
I’m so scared you’re going to move onto worse things too. That you’ll try or do heavier things. It makes me feel so anxious.
I just want you to be safe and okay. And I know that you promised both, but you cannot blame me or be mad at the fact that I am worried about this.